Idiot Room-Mates of Last Summer

And the red rage burns in my head as these bastards play their World of Warcraft and rustle in the dark with flashlights waking me up. Death metal is not music. Quit pouring your god-damned ice-tea, if I hear that gurgle one more time I’m going to scream. Stop crunching your Doritos, close your mouth. Slap some more of that aftershave on, won’t you? I love the sound as you pat and pat and pat every single day. Oh yes, and don’t forget to use the hairdryer, it’s better than an alarm clock. Please don’t close the blinds either over the window, bright burning sunlight in my eyes is the best cure for a hangover in the morning. Stupid idiots. Don’t be such a fat slob; you’re stinking up our room. Will anybody clear the garbage, or am I the only one? Let’s not even talk about the bathroom, with piss all over the floor, shit stains on the bowl, and nasty black marks in the tub. Is it so hard to close the shower curtain when you shower, or do you prefer water on the floor everywhere? I’m going to unplug your laptop so you can’t watch the stupid show 24 anymore dubbed over in Korean. Speak English. Don’t be so mad at the world. Respect me.